One of the more exciting aspects of being an Addisonian is the default “Drama Queen” role. It’s not my fault I require extra steroids for everything from a cold to surgery. If I don’t get those extra steroids, probably because I’m being a complete moron, all hell breaks loose. The doctors call it “brain fog”; I call it “being a big dimwit with a doctor’s note.” As the cortisol in my body is used up faster than I’m replacing it, I get really stupid. I lose my ability to concentrate, I forget what I’m doing, and I get really sleepy and will sleep as much as I possibly can. This leads to my being less likely to realize I need more steroids, which makes the whole thing worse.
I had this hysterectomy I mentioned before, and I felt just fine; so in my infinite wisdom, I decided to go back to work part-time after a week. For the record, my doctor did not approve this stunt. Pretty soon I started running a high fever, and the doctor determined I had a UTI. No big deal, right? Except I was already too far gone to think about taking extra steroids; I was pushing my body too hard with going back to work WAY too soon, and I just slid right down that big old dimwit hill.
I vaguely remember talking to my husband on the phone. The next thing I remember, he was shaking me awake in the ER at our local hospital – one I had sworn I would never go to. It seems to have a major tendency to scary stories. And then, at that same moment, I heard it…the rooster. I realize I live in the country, and some might not find this as frightening as others, but I feel we have progressed enough as a society to separate the people and the animals, at least at the ER. The mental ward would be my next stop.
Who else can land in a coma (albeit short-lived, a massive dose of solu-cortef brought me out of it) from a UTI? Who wakes up from said coma to a rooster crowing? Oh, yeah. Me.
Note to people in ER’s: turn off your cell phones, especially if they are something as blatantly stupid as a ringing rooster. Get a real ring-tone, so next time I wake up in the ER, it can be with a little more class.